Tomorrow is going to be one long, sad day. I can already tell. This is just fucking great. Goodnight Tumblr.

Well, i am finally back to posting diary like entries about my sad life. I didnt mean to stop, but i did for a while. And some crazy shit has happened. Lets see. Since the last time i posted something, many things have happened. I just feel like talking, or rather typing, Any way, a lot of shit has happened. I am out of the closet to alot more family members, I still have no friends, My best friend in the whole fucking world had to move away because of her fucking dumb ass dad, we already dont see each other very much, even though she only lives 20 minutes away. So that is pretty sad. I got kicked out of high school because i am just a fuck up. My best friend kathy who moved away introduced me to weed, and has turned me into a total bad-ass. Me and my father finally found a mutual activity for us to share and bond over, which is smoking weed. Which isnt a bad thing. I can tell he is thrilled to finally have something in common with me. So thats kinda cool. Um, i now sneak out sometimes at night and just walk around, to kinda clear my head. I have no life, and again no friends. My life is now sleeping like some fucking sloth, trying to get my GED, and barely getting to see my best friend. I know. Pretty sad. Thats how i feel about it anyway. And now how about some real serious shit? I hate myself for this. I really do. I actually hooked up with some guy, at his house, at like 3 in the morning. And he was like, a lot older than me. He was nice, and not some creep, but i kinda really hate my self. And i cant even tell anyone about it. Im pretty sure my parents already dont like me, and i just cant deal with what kathy would say. SO, if i can just type it on here, maybe i will feel a little better. What else is there… Well, i have been having these crazy ass vivid dreams lately. Mostly about one of my friends i met my freshman year. I have talked about him before. He is the one who moved to arizona. And im kinda scared i might have like, feelings for him deep down. He doesnt even know im gay! As far as he knows, i am straight, and we just messed around a little sometimes when he stayed the night. Uh, my dad got layed off, again, and we have no money, we are litterally living off of a card that gives us a certain amout of money for food each month. And, every day i cant help but feel extremely alone. I obly have 1 really close friend, I never leave the house because i have nowhere to go and nothing to do, and i long for a boyfriend, but i just dont do anything about it cause i cant really. Wow. I just read over everything i just typed, and i am depressed as shit. although, it does feel good to type all of this out. 

Yeah. I am just sad now. I think this is where i am gonna call it a night. Goodnight Tumblr…

This is me!

This is what i feel like i wanna do right now. I just want to run.

Okay. i will. You are such a cool person, i have to say. And im happy you follow me and i follow you. And thats the truth.

Holy shit. It feels like forever since i have done this. Is it bad for me to say that i have been to lazy to blog the last few nights? Because unfortunately, i have been. But, im back now! Lets see. What has been going on in my life. Well, just this last friday, me and my best friend kathy were fearless badasses for the day. We skipped School, leaving at lunch, and went to buy and smoke weed. Holy shit. I have never done anything like that before. Not even smoked. I have never coughed that much in my entire life. And can i say that it is so much fun. Everything felt like a dream, and everything was funny. Everything. And, i get super touchy and affectionate when i am high. Like, after we were done smoking and we started to get tired, we went to her spare bedroom, cuddled, and feel asleep. In each others arms. Arent we just adorable? Then like, 2 hours later, her dad came up and found us sleeping, and woke us up. Both of us really wonder what he  thought when he came up and saw us. It made it that much more funny. What else happened. That is kinda the only exciting thing that happened. Hmmmmmm. Oh i know. Ever since i came out to my parents, things have just been, better. Im not irritated and angry all the time, and i dont want to kill everyone as often, and i am just happier. I am so happy that it finally happened. OH! I just remembered! The worst possible thing happened today! Someone bought my best friends house! She has 75 days to move out! We have been neighbors since we were 3. Thats 13 years! And she is moving! And just as i was starting to think life was looking up again.

Well, it is late, and i should get to bed. I realize i say this like, every night. I really need to start going to bed at a normal time. Anyway, im off. Goodnight Tumblr.

So, as of last night, i am officially out of the closet to my parents! I know i said this last night, but i just feel the need to say it again. Now all that is left is the rest of my family, and every other person in my life. Now, i know i do this alot, but i am gonna have to make tonight short. I have a pounding headache thanks to the anti-depressants i am taking. And lucky me, headaches are just one of the side-effects until my body gets used to them. And that wont be for another 2-ish weeks. I just realized how many -’s i used in that last sentence. Anyway, i am now out to my parents. My best friend was so ecstatic to hear it. The first thing we did when she got home from drivers ed was i went to her house and we talked about how it happened. She is so happy for me. Thats just one of the many reasons i love her to death and she is my best friend. 

But, i do have to cut tonight short. I have a screaming headache and i am hoping sleep will get rid of it. Goodnight Tumblr.

Lest just start off by saying tonight will be short. I will be back with much more tomorrow. Anyway, so, i finally did it! I am officially out of the closet to my parents! That is the hardest thing i have ever done. In my life. Thank god it is over and done with. Now, like i said, im cutting tonight short. It was kind of a long and draining night on my part. So, with more details to come tomorrow night, Goodnight Tumblr.

Oh my god. I am so excited for tomorrow. The fam and i are going to a kind of get together with my parents friends Well, just the other day, i learned that they have a son. This son is a senior, and just so happens to be gay. And he is gonna be there. If  all goes well, i will leave there with a new friend who i happen to share an interest with. But, enough about tomorrow. Today was pretty good. Last night was the first night in a week i have actually slept. When i finally got up at like 3, i had my mother take me to the pet store where we are on a first name basis, so i could get food for my rat. Then, we had to stop by my grandmas house, and we ended up going out to dinner. When i finally got home, i went over to my best friends house and we just hung out at her house. And that was pretty much my day. OH! Yesterday, i saw the cutest and most adorable thing. While i was walking through Fred Meyer with my mom, I saw the CUTEST gay couple shopping. They were standing side by side, and the shorter one had his arm around his boyfriends waist, and the other ones arm resting on his shoulders. And holding hands, and just shopping together, and they were just adorable. I wanted to walk up to them after they passed me and say “Oh my god you two are so adorable. I love you guys.” But, i was with my mother, and I didnt want to like, scare them. 

Alright. I think i am gonna go to bed. It is 4 in the morning, and i have to get up early-er because my mom wants me to make cupcakes to take to the “Get-together.” So, wish me luck, and Goodnight Tumblr.

Therefore, i am exhausted and am actually going to get Some Sleep. Goodnight Tumblr.

How is it already February? Where did January go? Well, now there is only 4 a d a half months to go before School is out! Speaking of school, only 2 more days of finals left. And it is really only like, 1 day, because they are half days. And because they are half days, i get to go tanning with my best friend tomorrow. Well, i get to wait while she tans. She thinks she needs to get tan before winter formal. So, i get to go along with her little plan. Fun, right? 

Well, considering it is now 5 in the morning and i have finals in the morning, i am cutting tonight short and am gonna go to bed. Wish me luck with finals! Goodnight Tumblr.

Day one of finals down, 3 more to go. Thank god that i have friday off. My best friend has come up with a brilliant idea for friday. We are gonna take advantage of the day off and brake in her new pipe that her boyfriend got her. It is my first time smoking, so i am very excited. I love how i get excited about getting high with my best friend. Its the little things that make me happy. And like i said, it is my first time, so she is extremely exited to see how i act. I can only imagine. Anyway, so, now i guess i can talk about my day. I think have almost got Back to December by Taylor Swift and Little Lion Man By Mumford and Sons on my guitar. My fingers are so sore right now. Even typing kinda hurts. That just shows how committed to tumblr i am. Anyways, So i have spent most of today playing my guitar. Fun, right? I think it is. And them my mom decided to come down to my room and see what i was doing. She knew i exactly what i was doing. She was just spying. OH! And, i dont know how i found this, but while i was online, i somehow found a link to a video on youtube on how to crochet “Cock Cozy’s.” So i am making one.  How can you not when you find something like that? I just could not resist. 

Well, it is now 4 in the morning, and i have to get up and be on time to finals tomorrow. So i am gonna go to bed. After i work on my Cock Cozy a little more. Goodnight Tumblr.

Lets start tonight out by saying, i am really just not in the mood to do this tonight. But i will say a few words. So, today was pretty good. I spent like, 3 hours at the mall with my mom and my best friend, because we went winter formal dress shopping. 3 Hours. But it wasnt that bad. I never mind being at the mall. And, i got like, a lifetimes supply of incense sticks and cones. At least i know i will never run out. Then when i got home, me and my mother spent like an hour trying to sort and separate all of the sticks. What else. Well, i have decided that either very soon this week, or at the end of the week, i am gonna leave the letter for my parents. I might wait until the end of the week, because that way, Finals will be out of the way, and it will be one less thing to stress over. 

Well shit. Its 6:30 in the morning. I really need to get some sleep. So, until tomorrow night, Goodnight Tumblr.

Whew. Turns out, my solo that i had to sing in front of my choir wasnt that bad. Im pretty sure i am getting a A now! And god dammit, i think i just fell in love with Robin all over again. You know why? Well, because he is also in choir, he had to do a solo as well. So, he decided to do his solo in front of our class. I dont even know what song he sang, but he sure did sing it. And he played guitar along with it, and he is amazing at guitar, and has the voice of an angel, and i just love him. As he was singing, i just couldnt help but not take my eyes off him, and i couldnt stop smiling. Why cant he just be gay and we can fall in love and run off together and be happily together for the rest of our lives? Because, i would really like that to happen. I wouldnt need anything else out of life. Just him. I would be happy. Thats not true. I would also love for me to own my own successful Cupcake shop. Then i would be completely happy. But enough about my fantasies. Now that my solo for choir is out of the way, all i have to worry about is midterms. Joy.

Well, it is now 4 in the morning. So i am gonna call it a night. I have to actually get up for school tomorrow. Or at least try to. Anyway, Goodnight Tumblr.